Sex after childbirth and sex after pregnancy can feel a bit daunting. The body and hormones have changed, and life looks very different from just a few months ago. It’s important to remember that it takes time for the body to recover after both pregnancy and childbirth, so you should absolutely not feel pressured to rush into having sex after childbirth. Everyone recovers at different rates, and desire can easily take a back seat for quite some time – and that’s okay. Take it at your own pace and don’t feel pressured to have sex after pregnancy.

Sex after pregnancy

When can you start having sex after childbirth? There is no definitive answer to this question. It is very individual, but when you no longer feel any pain in the perineum or vagina, you can try having intercourse to see how it feels. There are some things that can be good to know when it’s time to have sex for the first time after childbirth and pregnancy:

1. It can hurt
   For most women, the first intercourse after childbirth is painful. This could be due to having sex too early, being too dry, or not yet fully healed in the genital area. It’s common to feel some discomfort in the genital area about 6-8 weeks after childbirth. If you experience discomfort or pain, it’s better to wait a while longer so you can fully recover. To help the body, you can massage the genital area a little every day with an oil, such as Plume pregnancy oil, to soften the vaginal opening.
2. Use lubricant
   If you are breastfeeding, the mucous membranes in the vagina can become thin and fragile. This can make you feel dry and extra sensitive in the genital area, which in turn affects sexual desire and how it feels during intercourse. It is recommended for breastfeeding mothers to use lubricant and estrogen that is applied locally when they want to start having sex after childbirth. Estrogen strengthens dry and thin mucous membranes.
3. The body has changed
   The body undergoes significant changes during both pregnancy and childbirth. Hormone production during breastfeeding can affect sexual desire, and any injuries in the genital area and perineum take time to heal. If you had a cesarean section, you have a wound in the lower abdomen that also needs time to heal and can initially feel uncomfortable or tender. It also takes about 8-12 weeks after childbirth for the vaginal and clitoral sexual responses, blood flow, and moisture to return to normal and for orgasm intensity to be as it used to be.
4. It's common to be out of sync with your partner regarding sexual desire after childbirth
   For the person who has given birth, many physical factors play a role in sexual desire after pregnancy and childbirth. For the partner who has not given birth, these aspects are not present in the same way. However, the parent who has not given birth is also affected by life with a new baby. Your partner may also feel that having sex after childbirth is a bit daunting, for example, due to fear that it might hurt you. Sometimes it also takes longer for sexual desire to return than for the person who has not given birth. It’s important that you and your partner have good communication and also remember that intimacy is more than just sex!
5. Exercise the pelvic floor muscles
   Regular exercise of the pelvic floor muscles is important both to prevent incontinence and prolapse and to strengthen the pelvic floor after childbirth and pregnancy. By exercising these muscles, you also become more aware of your body and its sexual responses, which can make it feel better when it’s time to have sex after childbirth and pregnancy.

Common questions about sex after childbirth and sex after pregnancy

When can you have sex after childbirth?

Answer: There is no limit to when it’s okay to have sex again after childbirth. It’s more about having sex when you want to and when it feels good. Medically, you can have sex immediately after giving birth, but during the time you have postpartum bleeding, you should use a condom due to the increased risk of infection.

How is it to have sex after giving birth?

Answer: Many people experience pain during their first intercourse after childbirth, regardless of whether they gave birth vaginally or by cesarean section. This can be due to many reasons, including not taking the time to become properly aroused, having sex before the body has fully healed, or having dry mucous membranes/injuries in the genital area and rectum. If you experience pain during intercourse after childbirth, you can talk to your midwife or seek care from a gynecologist or pelvic floor specialist.

When can you get pregnant after childbirth?

Answer: It is individual how long it takes for ovulation to start again after pregnancy. If you are breastfeeding, it may take a while before your period returns, but it’s important to remember that breastfeeding is not a reliable contraceptive, even though it reduces the likelihood of a new pregnancy. Also, keep in mind that ovulation can start before your period returns, so you should always use contraception if you do not want another pregnancy.

Sex after pregnancy

So, we can conclude that sex after pregnancy and childbirth is something that is highly individual. Medically, you can have sex at any time after giving birth, but there are many other factors that come into play. Some want to have sex soon after giving birth, while others want to wait longer. Whatever you choose, it’s okay. The most important thing is that you don’t feel pressured to have sex after pregnancy and let it happen as your desire returns. Instead of sex, you can try other intimate exercises and practice showing affection and closeness in other ways. It’s your body and your terms that matter, take care of yourself!